Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas....

So it's that time of year again. The time when you get to go absolutely nutty trying to buy gifts for people that you don't even see in the course of the year but still must send presents for. The time of year when you have to fight the hordes of people at the mall who aren't any happier to be there than you are. The time of year when your stress level has reached critical capacity.

This lovely time of year (also known as Christmas time) happens to coincide quite nicely with one of the busiest times of the year for me at work (known as I must get all this crap done before the holiday break). And this year, on top of everything else, it also happens to be the tail end of my Cell Biology class.

Now, I have really enjoyed the class up so far. It has been interesting and stimulating and, in a weird sort of way, fun. This week happens to be the final week of lectures. I was looking forward to this week not only because it means I'm almost done with the class, but because we were going to be discussing Cancer which is a subject that is quite personal to me and which I find interesting.

In Monday's lecture, however, I found out that maybe this week wasn't going to be as great as I thought it would be. The teacher was fine. The subject was interesting. But for some reason (and I'm still not sure why) sitting through a lecture on cancer really really bothered me.

Now, let me say that after almost 6 years, I am pretty good a guessing when something is going to get to me. I know, for example, that I need to ignore Mother's Day and I try to stay away from movies like Stepmom (which makes me cry every single time). But this one I didn't see coming. And that was almost worse than anything.

If I know it's coming, I can prepare myself for it. I can get ready. But this just kind of blindsided me. I've sat through many lectures before, on all sorts of topics related to cancer, and it has never bothered me. I've read books and looked at websites that deal with cancer, and it was fine. Maybe it was because it's so close to the holidays and I always miss her more this time of year. Maybe it's because I was already having a bit of a bad day. But whatever the reason, I know that I'm not looking forward to tomorrow's lecture now. Now, I just want it all done and over with.